Blog 6: “the two-handed credit card grab trick.”

It is 1:30 in the morning. Imagine hearing “na na na” repeated over and over and over again by 400 or 500 Indians. Some of them are holding signs with people's names and company names. Others are just standing there repeating “na na na.” Okay, so maybe they weren't just all standing there saying “na na na” on repeat but when there is a large gathering of people speaking a language you do not understand (or a broken version of your native language) it all starts to jumble together as “na na na.”

As I stood outside the automatic door, I was a little overwhelmed by this sight. I was separated from this massive crowd by a metal fence. The crowd was about 4 or 5 people deep and continued down the length of the fence about 200 feet. I began to walk along the fence while reading as many of the signs as I could. Finally, I located a man holding a sign with my name and the Courtyard by Marriott's logo neatly above it. My name was on a sign, I had finally made it in this world!

I pointed at the guy and then that guy and the guy behind him both pointed at themselves. They also both mouthed “ME?” at me. I redirected my eyesight to the guy behind my guy with the sign, waved my hand and said “No!” I then directed my eyesight back at the guy holding the sign with my name on it and said “You!” The guy behind my guy with the sign then looked at the ground, apparently upset that I was not his guy. The guy with my sign then pointed at himself again and smiled, I smiled, and he waved me towards the end of the metal fence to where the gaggle of Indians ended. Was that paragraph confusing enough?

We walked together, separated by the metal fencing. When I say metal fencing, picture queue lines at an amusement park. This was where I got my first look at what India was all about. India at night was now mine to behold. To my right was a large construction wall. The driver told me in broken English that some construction was going on behind that wall but I could not understand what he said it was they were building. Two armed guards with semi-automatics stood at the entrance of the construction wall. Along the curbs on our way to the parking lot, trash littered the drive. Something India could really benfit from is some kind of littering fine. You know how sometimes you will be walking down the street and used cigarette butts are in the road near the curb? Okay, now imagine that instead of cigarette butts, it is water bottles, wrappers, fruit rinds, and so on. We came to a crosswalk and the driver told me to wait there with my baggage while he went to get the car. The driver disappeared into the parking lot of about 150-200 cars.

The driver emerged from the parking lot with a silver Courtyard by Marriott minivan. The driver got out of the right side of the vehicle... Oh yeah, I thought, “They drive on the other side of the road here.” He grabbed my bag and tossed it in the back of the minivan and we were off.

The road out of the airport was congested with cars. All of them trying to leave at the same time. The concept of waiting in a line and staying in a lane is completely lost on the people here. I intend to upload a video in a future blog all about driving here so you can have a better idea of just how crazy it is. There is a single word that describes driving here, I'll let you in on that when I get to the driving blog. By my calculations, that should be the next one I do.

Every car that was trying to leave was jammed into this area big enough for what would normally allow four lanes of traffic. The only difference, there were about 9 cars across this road, all of them trying to get out of the airport. Finally, our driver was able to navigate out to the main road. In a stark contrast to the airport exit, the roads to the hotel were considerably empty.

I started the typical conversation starter with the driver that you use when you don't know someone. “So, the weather here is much warmer than it is back home.” Blah blah blah. Just then, I saw a giant tank to my left. Whoa! Oh wait, nevermind, that's just an army training center... With a tank out front! We continued and I got to see what Chennai was about at night. Chennai is a city that looks very nice at night. There are no tall skyscrapers here. The largest building I have seen is probably about 10 floors, the size of a modest business building. There is a lot of neon and rope lighting on the buildings that make things look quite exciting. That doesn't last during the day though. If you have ever been to downtown Las Vegas, you will know what I am talking about. During the day, downtown is pretty dumpy. At night though, the glowing neon cowboy and cowgirl are the backdrop to the glittering lights of the casinos. Of course, a better description of the city is for another blog.

A half hour or so after leaving the airport, we arrive at the hotel. The hotel has a large metal gate with three guards and a dog standing outside. A guard takes a look inside the minivan to make sure no shenanigans are going on. Meanwhile, another guard walks the dog all the way around the van. Don't forget about the third guard! He has a large mirror on a little push cart. He pushes the cart under the minivan to make sure there is nothing suspicious under the van. You know, like a bomb. That's comforting. I hand the driver 200 INR (approximatey $4.50 US) and thank him for the ride.

This is a view of the outside of the hotel (notice they don't show street level because it's not pretty - try to search chennai courtyard by marriott on Google and see what you get) and where I eat breakfast and dinner nearly everyday.

The canopy to the hotel has a nice glass window with water streaming down it. Fancy. I tote my rolling bag and laptop bag under the canopy and hand it off to one of the guys waiting. He tosses my bags onto an x-ray machine. I am then directed to a metal detector and promptly get wanded the guy waiting on the other side after proving I have no metal on me in the metal detector. The lady operating the x-ray machine looks over at me with a bit of concern on her face. Being a field service engineer means that you regularly carry tools in your luggage. Metallic tools. I quickly assured her that I only had my normal travel things and tools in the bag and she okayed my bag for entry into the hotel. That was easy. As I typed that, I heard the Easy Button voice in my head.

The man who wanded me opens the front door to the hotel and there is another cool water feature where water pours down the walls of the breezeway. Another hotel employee opens the next door for me and I proceed to the check-in desk.

After doing all the initial pleasantries and getting everything together, it was time to get my credit card on file. This is where I made my first Indian culture mistake. As I got my card out of my wallet and began to hand it to the clerk, I had only one hand on the card. He reached out both hands and grabbed the front two corners of the card, one in each hand. Oops, I forgot that when you hand things like that over, business cards, credit cards, you are supposed to use both your hands and “present” the card to the other party involved in the transaction. As the clerk handed the card back to me, I quickly adjusted to the culture and did the two-handed credit card grab trick. Good job, me.

I made my way to the three elevators and pressed the up arrow button. One of the elevators opened and I rode it to the fifth floor and headed out to room 532. I slid the keycard in the door and opened it up to try to see my home for the next few weeks. By this time it was just after two in the morning and I began fumbling around the room to find a light. What the hell? Do they not put light switches in rooms in India? After about what seemed like five minutes, but was in reality twenty seconds, looking for a light switch, I turned back to the door and opened it to let the light in from the hall. Just then, I saw this contraption about the size of a deck of playing cards on the wall with a slit in it. Under the slit, there was a small red arrow lit up and pointing downward. Well, at this point in time, I had an epiphany. That slit looks just big enough to fit my room keycard. And just like the cartoony light bulb that turns on when you have an epiphany, when I stuck my key into the slit, every single light in my room turned on.

As a celebrated in my discovery of how to work the lights, I also thought about how incredibly unnecessary it was for this thing to turn on every single light in my room. Next to the keycard holder, there was another deck of cards contraption. This one had buttons that said “Vestibule,” “TV Lamp,” “Bed Lamp,” and “Luggage Lamp.” I began pressing the buttons and lights in the room began to turn off and on. I put my luggage in the designated luggage area and plugged in my laptop with my international plug converter. I made a quick call to Krista on Skype and headed to bed. I found another deck of cards-sized light switch under my bed lamp that also controlled the lights. How convenient, I could climb into bed and at the touch of a button, kill all the lights in the room (and turn on a night light!). All the lights were out and I fell asleep, preparing to truly begin my India adventure the next day.