Blog 4: “…with his cube of a fist”

Okay, fourth blog, time to get this trip on the road in the air. Uhh… You know what I mean. As you might recall, seating in business class is 2-2-2. Lucky for me, no one sat next to me on this flight. That is a bonus when you are flying economy, but in business class, this was a one-way ticket to AwesomeTown.

Let me just say, during my flight while I was getting used to the comforts that Lufthansa had to offer me (Lufthansa in no way is paying me for my comments, but if they want to, my e-mail is joeba31@hotmail.com and we can work out a contract), I never lost a slight grin on my face. I felt like I was the mayor of AwesomeTown and everyone else flying with me were part of AwesomeTown’s city hall. Oddly, city hall did not appear to be as excited about this as I was. I find it hard to believe that someone could get jaded by this experience, but I will let it go.

I had just gotten my seat into a comfortable reclined position when a male flight attendant (yes, I feel the need to point out this flight attendant was male) asks me to put my seat in the upright position. I guess in all my excitement, I forgot that they prefer you seated that way during takeoff. He also took back the unfinished mini glass of white wine he had served me not two minutes prior. Nevertheless, I was not going to let this get me down.

On the monitor at the front of the aircraft and on the monitor in front of me, a video began playing welcoming me on the aircraft and explaining what to do if the plane ends up not faring so well in the sky. It reminded me of Fight Club when Tyler Durden points out to The Narrator that all of the people in the flight emergency card are “calm as Hindu cows.” It’s funny because I am heading to India, but anyway, this video basically took the human Hindu cows and made them animated. Never once did their facial expressions change. Again, another pop culture reference came to mind. Remember when 3-D graphics were just getting really cool in video games? Not like X-Box 360/PS3 cool, but like PS1/N64 cool. Remember when a guy would grab an item and his hand would never open to grab it? It just stayed this same blocky fist and the item magically went in. Sometimes the gun or whatever would clip awkwardly and unrealistically through his hand reminding you that you were just playing a video game. That was about the quality of this animation. A guy put his briefcase in the overhead storage bin with his cube of a fist and the handle clipped right through his hand and rested neatly in the overhead bin. Also, something I noticed during this little movie was that the guy in the video was using my mechwarrior cockpit the whole time. I wondered if they showed economy a different video. If not, those economy travelers have to feel like major jerks sitting in those chairs and seeing what I am rocking up front.

There is not a large language barrier between Germans and Americans but one does slightly exist. Being a German airliner, the attendants were all German as well. Shortly after takeoff, beverage service began. Immediately, I ordered a wodka (because the “w” is pronounced like a “v” in German) and Coca-Cola Light (because Diet Coke is called Coca-Cola Light in Germany). The flight attendant assumed I did not want these mixed together, but I did. Maybe this experience was not quite a language barrier as it was a difference in cultures? That was also a fairly pointless story.

Two beverages in and dinner service begins. My flight was right around 7:00 PM so the dinner was served in the earlier part of the flight. The flight attendants walk down the aisle and hand menus to each passenger. Menus on an airplane! Maybe I am oblivious to international business class travel but I was quite excited to have a decent choice of items to choose from. Anyone else who has traveled international business class reading this probably feels like a member of AwesomeTown city hall. Maybe I will feel that way when I read this sometime down the road. There were three choices in each the appetizer, dinner, and desert categories. I chose the Chicken Caesar Salad to start, Roasted Arctic Char (with parsley-horseradish sauce) as the main course, and a Lemon Mandeleine as my desert. All were quite delicious, plus I got a nice assortment of three different cheeses with the salad to om nom nom on with some bread and fruit.

Now, I had already had two bowls of That Pasta Stuff in the Lufthansa business lounge prior to the flight so after the dinner service, I was feeling incredibly stuffed. I tried to digest my food by reading a bit of my book, watching Surrogates, and playing a little Caveman and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (if you know trivia outside of America). Well, sitting in a chair really does not aide digestion. I was still stuffed. I figured if sitting doesn’t help, I could try sleeping. I grabbed my remote control, pressed the preprogrammed button to put the chair into a full sleep mode. The chair flattened all the way out allowing me room to stretch out completely. Other than not being a bed, the only thing keeping this from feeling like a real bed was that the bed was not fully parallel to the floor. It was probably on a 170° angle. So, still being stuffed, I unbuttoned my pants while I slept. Is that gross?

Two hours of sleep later, we landed in Frankfurt, Germany. Welcome to continent number 1 (Europe) I had never stepped on. I gathered my belongings, headed out of the plane, and took a short walk from my arrival gate to B26, my next departure gate. I hopped on the plane to Chennai, India with the same comforts my previous flight offered so I won't bore you with it. This time I decided to fall asleep immediately for five hours.

As I awoke, I saw one of the flight attendants walking through the aisle looking like she had to tell someone something. I looked up at her and she quickly walked over to me and told me to open the window. I woke up just in time to catch Burj Al Arab (sail boat hotel)

and the Palm Tree Islands

out my window in Dubai. They look absolutely incredible from 37,000 feet up. I imagine the picture above of the Islands is about 25-30,000 feet or so.

I occupied myself with my book and another meal (not as good as the first) for the rest of the flight and prepared for my descent into India.